


Remember Our Future

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Reaper76 [52]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Broken Dreams, Children, Dreams, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Family, Forgiveness, Hurt/Comfort, Inferred Oviposition, Love, M/M, Marriage, Reconciliation, Regret, Self-Hatred, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-27 21:46:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16710625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Their plans for the future had been destroyed long ago, but some of the dreams remain, lingering just beneath the surface and waiting to well up unexpectedly. In which a night of fun, drags up a half-forgotten dream. Written for the Kinktober prompts. Day 28 Prompt: Xenophilia/Oviposition (sort of).





	Remember Our Future

   There were times when Gabriel wondered why they had even bothered reviving Overwatch, and why he had allowed himself to be pulled back into the fold after what the original Overwatch had done to him. What they had made forced him to become just to survive. This was one of those times. As he watched the dispirited agents dispersing, some to the infirmary, some to their rooms, another mission added to the growing list of failed missions, and he growled under his breath, form threatening to disintegrate as rage seared through his veins for a moment. It seemed that no matter what they did, and no matter what they sacrificed, the whole world still stood against them.

   The UN was moving against them again, and the PETRAS act hung over their head like a guillotine waiting to fall. And that uncertainty, that lack of support left them with new enemies no matter where they turned, and he wanted to watch it all burn. Especially when he thought back to the strained expression on Jack’s face when they had been forced to retreat yet again, hounded on all sides by Talon, and by a public who it seemed was determined to accept the lies they were being fed and turn on them too.

    Jack, who even now struggled to deal with what had happened in Zurich, waking most nights from nightmares about what had happened, screaming for Gabe. Whispering apologies in a broken voice that was almost enough to shatter Gabriel. Jack, who still blamed himself for everything single thing that had happened to both them, and between them, even though Gabriel had long since forgiven him, and told him repeatedly that the blame rested on both of their shoulders. Jack, who scared him more often than not these days, with the loyalty he had always shown to his people and his determination to protect them reaching new heights, to the point where he bordered on reckless.

_Speaking of which…_

   He glanced around, expecting to find his husband waiting for him, shoulders no doubt hunched and body tense, and he can’t quell the flicker of fear that engulfed him when he realised that there was no sign of Jack. His stomach twisted as he recalled seeing Jack go flying during the fight, crashing through a wall, and while he had returned to the fight quickly enough…that didn’t necessarily mean anything, especially when you were dealing with Jack.

“Jesse, can you finish up here?” He felt bad for asking, taking in the exhausted slump to the gunslinger’s shoulders and the way he was favouring his side, but this was Jack he was talking about. Something of his alarm must have shown in his expression because McCree didn’t argue, offering him a tiny tip of his hat before turning to the others and softly issuing orders. Making a note to make it up to him later Gabriel turned on his heal, letting himself dissolve into the shadows even though he knew that it still makes the others uncomfortable, eager to get to the infirmary as quickly as possible. Praying that Jack wasn’t being stubborn or holing up somewhere else.

**

   As much as he wanted to just rush off to find his husband when a quick scan of the infirmary showed no sign of the distinctive snowy hair or that ridiculous jacket that Jack refused to dispose of,  even though it was barely being held together by numerous repair jobs at this time. Gabriel couldn’t just bring himself to walk away. Not when half the beds, a tiny number compared to the heyday of the organisation, but a worrying number given the size of their team at the moment were filled with his colleagues…friends, he scolded himself, still unused to thinking of them as that even though they had called him out on it more than once. And so he forced himself to stay, just for a little while, feeling almost nostalgic as he moved from person to person just as he had when he was a Commander. Thankfully none of the injuries was that serious this time, or at least nothing that would keep them in the infirmary for more than a night or two depending on how much Angela wanted to mother hen them, and he snorted as he spots Hanzo already slipping out of the room when her back was turned.

   Satisfied that they were all as well as they could be, and lacking the words to lift their spirits at the moment, when his own hopes were flagging. Time and rest would give them that he hoped, turning his attention to Angela who was stood off to the side, tablet in hand as she worked through all the records that needed updating. He hesitated for a moment before approaching her and not just because she was obviously busy. While their friendship was slowly getting back on an even keel, mainly because of Jack…or maybe that should be - for Jack. He was still a little uneasy around the woman who had used an experimental method to bring him a back, a technique that had clashed with what had already been done to him and that had left him a little less than human no matter how many times Jack tried to tell him otherwise.

“Angela? Have you see Jack?” It wasn’t enough to stop him from asking, not when there was a heavy, uneasy feeling growing in the pit of his stomach because it just wasn’t like is husband to disappear like this. Not when the others were hurt. Usually, he would be here, comforting them, seeing if they needed anything. Apologising for another mission going awry even though there was nothing he could have done to change the outcome and the fact that he isn’t scares him.

“No,” she’s clearly distracted, offering him a half-hearted glance before stilling, eyes narrowing as she studies him. “Is something wrong?”

   In the past, he would have told her what was going on. He had lost count of the number of times that he and Jack had turned to her and Ana when they were arguing, in fact, they could have probably made a fortune if they’d started charging for handing out advice. But that was then…and this was now, and the urge to leave was increasing, so he offered her a strained smile.

“It’s nothing.” It didn’t sound convincing even to his own ears, and he could see her opening her mouth to protest, and he hastily turned on his heel with a dismissive wave. “Don’t worry about it.”

_Jack, where are you?_

**

   He hadn’t bothered checking anywhere else, instead making a beeline straight for their quarters. If Jack was avoiding everyone then that was where he would be, and yet Gabriel still found himself hesitating for a moment outside of their bedroom door. It still felt a little strange to him that they were back here, that they were together again, married and living together. The dream they’d always had, yet utterly different from what they’d imagined. And there were times, especially times like this when Jack disappeared or did something unexpected where a small part of him wondered if all of this was a mistake. It wasn’t a pleasant thought and not one he wanted to entertain, and so he forced it back, smoke escaping as he took a deep breath to make sure that he wasn’t about to come apart before opening the door.

“Jack?” He called as he stepped into their room, coming up short when he spotted the familiar figure huddled in the bed, relief flooding him at the sight. At least until he realised that his partner hadn’t so much as twitched at his entrance. For a moment, he half thought that Jack might have fallen asleep already. After all, they’d stayed up late the night before as they hadn’t been expecting a mission that morning and it had been a hard fight. Not that it would have been enough to stop him from stirring at Gabriel’s arrival, as neither of them could sleep through the slightest noise these days. It was a downside of surviving through too many battles and spending too much time on the run. Then there was the fact that he can see how tense Jack was,  the too perfect stillness that tells him the other man is still awake and he frowned, concern replacing his earlier relief and he hesitated for a moment before closing the door behind him. “Jack?”

   There was still no response, and he fought back the urge to growl, reminding himself of the fear he’d felt when he’d realised that Jack had disappeared earlier. Instead, he moved forward cautiously, keeping his movements deliberately slow and loud enough to hear as he has no interest in finding himself on the business end of a weapon. Although his efforts seem to fall on deaf ears because there was still no reaction to his presence. Reaching the bed, he hesitated for a moment before settling on the edge of the bed, hand hovering uselessly in the air between them because he had no idea if Jack wants to be touched right now, fingers curling helplessly as he let his hand fall. “Mi Luna?” For a moment, he thinks even the nickname isn’t going to be enough to get Jack to look at him. “Mi Luna, ple…” He cut himself off as Jack finally moved, head moving in a nearly non-existent nod to show that he was listening, and he swallowed thickly. It was too timid, too distant and an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach.

_What was going on?_

    Slowly, almost as though he was afraid to move…or scared to face him…Jack rolled over to face him, squinting up at him as his visor was lying abandoned on the bedside table. His eyes might be duller than they had been and somewhat unfocused, but even that did nothing to hide the pain, the fear and guilt in his gaze, or the shimmer that told him that Jack was bordering on tears. It’s an expression that he had hoped never to see again, reminding him all too vividly of the days they had spent talking about everything that happened, wading their way through the distance and hurdles between them and he doesn’t know what to do, or what to say. He didn’t understand what had brought this on. He was spared the need to find the words because hesitantly Jack reached out and grasped his hand, Gabriel willingly letting him take it, the comfort settling him a little. At least until Jack guided it down to his abdomen, down to where just a few hours there had still been a small bump, barely visible unless you knew where to look. The only outward sign that had been left from their activities the previous night, the only proof of the gift that Gabriel had given him, and Gabriel sucked in a breath as understanding dawns. “Jack, it doesn’t…”

“It does! It does matter! I promised to take care of them…but…” Jack cut him off, more frantic that he had heard him in a long time and Gabriel is stunned into silence. Jack hadn’t sounded like that since that day in Zurich when he had reached for him as the building went up beneath their feet, shouting for him, begging for him to get out, and it takes him a moment to push the unwanted memory aside and focus on the present. Trying to understand, his heart aching as Jack continued in a softer, more broken tone. “They’re still in here.” His fingers were resting against his stomach, lingering where the bump had been before he flinched and snatched his hand back. “I can feel it, I can feel them…. but they’re broken, scrambled…I’m sorry.”

    Gabriel didn’t understand. Jack had been strangely quiet the night before, not refusing…even encouraging him at times, but he hadn’t seemed as into their ‘fun’ as usual, and yet there was nothing indifferent about his expression right now, and his eyes narrowed. There was something more to this, something that he didn’t understand and that left a bitter taste in his mouth because they had been working on bridging the years apart and the rift before that. And he had thought that he was getting there, that he was beginning to know Jack just as well as he had at the height of their relationship.

Maybe he had been wrong.

   However, he couldn’t ignore the distressed expression on his partner’s face, especially when he realised that Jack had tears on his cheeks. Gently he wiped at them, brushing them away and letting his fingers linger against the pale cheeks for a moment before easing himself down so that he was lying beside Jack, cautiously gathering the other man against himself, ready to let him go if that was what Jack wanted. But Jack was pliant in his arms, letting himself be pulled in close and only moving enough to bury his face in Gabriel’s shoulder as a sob welled up, a litany of apologies escaping as his fingers tightened against Gabriel’s back, hard enough to leave bruises even though his clothes. “Jack?” Gabriel asked, unsurprised when he didn’t get a response beyond a frantic shake of Jack’s head, and sighing he let his head fall against Jack’s and settled in to wait, hoping that Jack would talk to him when he was ready.

   He didn’t realise that he’d started humming, some half-forgotten lullaby that he vaguely recalled his mother using to lull him through childhood illnesses and nightmares, until he felt Jack shifting against him, lifting his head just enough to look at him with bleary eyes. “That’s pretty.” At any other time, he would have coloured at the praise, and having anything in his rough voice described as pretty. But Jack sounded wrecked, longing in his voice and Gabriel just wanted to understand what was going on with him, and so he didn’t comment on the praise and instead he took the opportunity to cusp his husband’s face in his hands.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” He asked softly, wiping away the evidence of Jack’s tears, relieved to see that they’d stopped falling although the blue eyes were still filled with so much pain that he almost regretted asking. He followed Jack’s gaze as his eyes flickered down to his stomach once more, and slowly, cautiously he moved one of his hands letting it come to rest there. He can feel it, can feel that Jack still felt more full than he should, and if he focused he could feel his nanites beginning to shift, reacting to the parts of himself that he had left inside his husband and he swallowed thickly before focusing on Jack’s face once more, although he didn’t remove his hand. “Jack, please talk to me.” _Don’t shut me out again…_

“It’s stupid.”

“Mi Luna,” Gabriel muttered warningly, hearing the self-deprecation in Jack’s voice and trying to stop it before it could take over, brushing his thumb against Jack’s cheek, relieved when his husband leant into the touch…just slightly, the barest pressure, but it was enough,  at least for now, to reassure him that he wasn’t being pushed away. “Tell me,” he inserted just the slightest hint of sternness this time, sensing that Jack was teetering on the edge, close to breaking his silence and he knew that he had won when a shuddering sigh worked its way through Jack.

    It was still a few more minutes before he began to talk, but Gabriel was willing to wait, knowing that it was coming and that Jack needed the time to gather his thoughts. Instead, he focussed on carefully, unobtrusively removing the evidence of their activities. The previous night he had wanted Jack to feel every moment of it, delighting in the noises he had been able to draw out of his husband once he had convinced Jack that he wanted to hear him. Loving the way that Jack had clutched and clawed at him to the point where it had even taken his nanites a couple of hours to erase the evidence. Now though wasn’t the time for something like that, not when Jack’s breathing was still ragged from weeping, his body trembling as he pressed closer to Gabriel in search of comfort. And so he was cautious in his efforts, feeling a strange pang as he felt the last remnants of the eggs dissolving into mist and returning to him, passing effortlessly through Jack’s body and into him.

“Do you remember when we used to talk about retiring, about finding somewhere nice and quiet to retire?” Jack’s voice was quiet, to the point where Gabriel wouldn’t have heard him if they hadn’t been pressed so closely together, as it was he jumped at the quiet words breaking the silence that had settled over him. It hurt to think about that, to think about all the grand plans and dreams they’d had when the Omnic crisis had come to an end. They had agreed to stay with Overwatch, intending it to just be for a little while, a chance to save up before they left and made a life together. It had never happened, or rather it had, but years after it should have and with both of them little more than broken, echoes of the men they had been back then. However, he didn’t say that…didn’t want to drag up things that are better left in the past, and instead settled for nodding, silently prompting Jack to continue. “D-do you remember what else we spoke about?”

    He didn’t need the waver in his husband’s voice to know that they were re getting closer to the heart of the matter, he could feel it in the way that Jack had tensed against him, and in the way, the tremors that were working their way through his body had intensified. He gathered Jack closer even as he wracked his brain, reluctantly digging up conversations he’d rather never think about again. But he did it anyway because whatever this was, it was important to Jack.

“Children…” The word crept out, and crimson eyes widened with comprehension as he saw the colour creeping into Jack’s face before he buried it against him. They had talked about it, more than once, but never anything concrete. At the time, it hadn’t been practical, not until they were free of the military and their jobs, and while they had enjoyed the time they spent watching Fareeha, they hadn’t been ready for one of their own. With everything that had happened afterwards…their relationship falling apart, the Fall, the years spent thinking the other was dead and then fighting one another, he had thought that it was something long dead, long abandoned by both of them. But Jack was nodding, still hidden against him, fingers clutching at the front of his clothes. “Oh, Mi Luna…” There was a lump in his throat that stopped him from saying anything else, and he settled for pressing his lips into snowy hair and holding Jack close, unsurprised to feel fresh dampness soaking through his clothes. _Just how long had he been thinking about this…?_

“I’m sorry…”

“Why the hell are you apologising?” It came out far harsher than he had intended, and he had to hold on tightly to stop Jack from bolting, muttering his own apology before he took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would never…” He would never have asked Jack to take his eggs, to look after his gift if he had known that it would trigger something like this, and an unpleasant feeling crept up his spine. _He had done this_. It had been his idea, and while Jack hadn’t argued, he had been the one that wanted to do this and had insisted on leaving them in even when they had been called away on a mission. Guilt left an unpleasant taste in his mouth, and he moved to release Jack, to pull away, wondering how the other man could even bear to cling to him like that. However, Jack wasn’t for letting go, and before he could give in to the temptation to dissolve so that he could escape, Jack pulled back and stared at him as fiercely as he could manage considering he could barely see him.

“This isn’t your fault.” He froze at the sheer certainty in Jack’s voice, not sure what to say or do and after a moment Jack sighed, curling against him once more. “I should have said something, but…”

“But?”

“Yes, I’ve thought about, probably more than I should,” Jack was hiding again, and for now Gabriel let him. “I know that we can’t. That we’re still at war, and I can’t see either of us walking away now.” There was no bitterness in his words, just resignation…they’d both come too far to walk away now, and they still needed answers, answers to what had torn Overwatch apart, answers about who had managed to bring the world crashing down around them. And Gabriel could hear the words that Jack didn’t give voice to, like the fact that they were too old or maybe it was better to say too broken. Jack was a mess hidden beneath scarred features and a gruff attitude, and Gabriel was worse, a storm hidden in a body that wasn’t even fully human anymore. “But…last night.” That dragged Gabriel out of his darkening thoughts, although it made him tense for a different reason, guilt rising once more. “Last night…it wasn’t until they were in there. Until I could feel them, that…” Jack trailed off, clearly unable to find the words to say what he was trying to explain, but he didn’t need to, because Gabriel understood, recalling the pang he had felt earlier when cleaning up the evidence of their activities.

“Jack…” The guilt was still there, but it was eased a little by the fact that Jack hadn’t agreed last night because of those thoughts. Still, he’was gentle, overly so as he gathered his husband close and peppered the top of his head with kisses, anything that would ease the pain he had unintentionally caused. “We won’t do that again.” He wasn’t sure he could bear it, as even the memory of Jack’s noises and touch…his pleasure…seemed tainted now, and he was startled when Jack made a soft noise of protest.

“Not for a while, but maybe we can do it again.”

    His instinctive reaction was to say no, to refuse to even risk it, shocked that Jack would even consider it after reacting like this. But he couldn’t bring himself to take something else from his husband, not at the moment and so he hesitated before replying in a noncommittal tone.

“Maybe.” It probably wasn't the answer that Jack wanted, but he didn’t complain or argue. Instead, he tilted his head up minutely to meet one of Gabriel’s kisses, weariness written across his face as everything caught up with him and Gabriel met him halfway, deepening the kiss but not letting it grow heated. Neither of them needed or wanted that right now, and it wasn’t long before they separated, mirroring one another as they shuffled into a slightly more comfortable position before curling together once more. Gabriel hesitated for a moment before he gently nudged Jack with his nose, lip quirking faintly at the sleepy growl the action earned him before he continued in a soft voice. “Besides, you realise that we do have kids?”

“We do?”

“Yep, half a dozen of them…” Gabriel confirmed with a small chuckle, softening at the confused look it earned him, nudging Jack with his nose again, earning a small swipe from his husband in retaliation and he grabbed the offending hand with a laugh before explaining. “One of them called you ‘Dad’ just last week.” He could see the moment comprehension dawned, lifting the captured hand to his lips and kissing it softly, earning a faint smile from his husband, helped no doubt by the memory of how red Lena had turned when she’d realised what she’d done. And the fact that Hana and some of the others had taken to doing it as well when they thought that Jack and Gabriel were out of hearing range. “I know it’s not the same, but…”

“It’s enough,” Jack finished for him, and he finally sounded a little more like himself, tangling their fingers together and pulling their hands down to rest against his abdomen. “It’s enough…” He repeated, softly, almost as though it was a prayer and Gabriel squeezed his fingers softly as he heard the unspoken, _it’s more than we deserve._


End file.
